ok I got one!

Two guys spend all weekend having sex, one says to the other i'm off to the shop, so don't be wanking while i'm gone. So off to the shop he went, 5 minutes later he came back to find cum all over the bed, the walls & the furniture. He turned around and said "I thought i told you not to wank! The other said "I didn't I farted".

Lol

Mountain Goats
It's illegal.

Lmao, thats funny

The sargent greets the new recruits:
-Hello i'm sgt.Stone.What's your name Privet? and asks one little,skinny guy with the helmet covering his eyes.
-I'mmmm pppprivvvvet Stonecracker

A submariner on a military court.the judge ask the submariner:
-Why are you here soldier?
-Because i like to sleep on a open window.

A blonde went into a hardware store. She asked about a special dishwasher with a window in the front and a lot of buttons.

The employee said, "We don't sell to blondes."

She really wanted that dishwasher because she'd never seen a dishwasher like it. She decided to get it at all costs, so she dyed her hair brown. She went back into the hardware store and asked the clerk again about the dishwasher.

The employee said, "We don't sell to browns."

She got really frustrated and finally dyed her hair red. She asks a different clerk this time about that dishwasher.

The employee said, "We don't sell to blondes."

Startled, she said, "How did you know I was blonde?"

"That's a microwave."

LMAO, thats is funny lol

A man walk into a bar and says *Ouch*

If you choke a smurff what color does it turns?

Grey? lol

hello there very funny that joke

It took me about an hour to get that...

And i still don't understand it

LMAO, an hour

With the tax burden increasing in the USA because of war preparations the well know compliment,"You look like million dollars" is now answered with this comment "Less war taxes."

Lol, Some funny jokes, keep them coming